The title reads correctly. Yesterday I ate a dead bird. Obviously, I did not choose to do so - but rather, did so in blind innocence and the kicker is that it tasted so much like Mock Meat, I did not even notice the difference. My friend and I ordered two Vegan Chicken Burgers at East Brunswick Club (Herein EBC) on Lygon Street in Melbourne. For those who are unaware, EBC are a very laid back, casual pub who serve delicious vegan pub food dishes. Yesterday, however, they slipped up.
As Cheryl and I waited for our burgers we eyed off the possible vegans sitting around the venue and checked to see if there were any good looking men. There weren't. We were, however, greeted by a lovely chap emitting a strong waft of alcohol and rather unpleasant bodily odour who tried to offer us coke from his half empty 600ml bottle. Anyone who calls me Senorita and does not pronounce it properly, offers me coke from their half drunk bottle and does not wash - is out of the game.
Anyway back on track, Cheryl got her burger first and started to eat. Ten or more minutes later I recieved mine. The waitress stated "Here is your Vegan Chicken Burger". Naturally, I would assume it is indeed a Vegan Chicken Burger. Quarter way through the burger I noticed a difference in the colour of mine as opposed to Cheryl's. We studied, taste tested again and concluded mine was indeed a dead bird. So, we called the waitress, she confirmed it was and apologised.
So, what compensation did EBC provide us with for this huge mistake causing immense pain and suffering for my fragile brain? They gave us free Peanut Butter Choc Chip Cheesecake. Enough? I suppose.
But this made me feel funny. I have rambled on before about where you draw the line when you consume something and how I treat it as a case by case basis. Well, in this case, I was more than happy for them to throw it away and give me a new one. I felt sick. I felt disgusting. I felt unnatural.
Though, mind you, the funny thing is - now that I have tasted both I can confidently say that yes, the vegan version tastes much better. Its texture/contents was just so much tastier than the 'real' thing.
Moral of the story? Meat eaters really cannot use the 'meat is tasty' excuse and free cheesecake is delicious.
Above: Peanut Butter & Choc Chip Cheesecake that Cheryl and I got. I did rather like it, reminded me of Snickers.